try as i did, i cant seem to remember how my relationships started, the first instant i realised i felt attracted to him. maybe i should try harder the next time round, if there is a next time. i want to remember that moment so that i have a reference point to look back on, and measure the amount of difference in all the time passed.

yesterday i imagined what if i was hospitalised, would there be a guy who would keep vigil by my side? and i suddenly remember again the important things i have forgotten.. the constants who have all along been in my life. i don't show them enough that i love them, that they are important to me, that i want to thank them for all the things they have done for me in all these 20 years.

i am getting more emotional as i inch closer to my 20th. haha